IMPACTED; loosing a son to suicide

When I met my spouse twelve years ago we each had two children. Ranging from ages seven to twenty-two years of age. We both had complicated pasts, however based on our Christian beliefs we were we confident  our future as man and wife held promise. On the other hand 'red flags' presented themselves during our time of courting, waving extravagantly warning us of the storms ahead.

The children pretended to be happy for us, however deep down they were all terrified. All  presented some form of acting out prior to our marriage and during the first five years of our marriage.  The stories would take the rest of my life time to describe!  Our faith was often wavered, but Gods grace and merci held us up. We landed up in pastoral counseling, family counseling, individual counseling, bible studies, alanon meetings, co-dependency groups, AA meetings, church hopping, and more. 
We  pulled it off all our children are now out of the house and doing better than we predicted!  With the exception of  our second to the youngest male child, who is now deceased. He chose to end his life in July 2009.  He is now part of the 'data' of male suicides; which is death by choice of a fire arm, caucasion, and under the age of twenty five. 

Luke always had a tendency to be the 'blacksheep' of the family and there was always drama in his life. He favored THC and alcohol, only leading to the heavier substances down the road. He was quite a charmer and had his step mama and father either in a frenzy or at their hearts like a big and fluffy St. Bernard! Luke had a striking personality and young woman were attracted to him. It alarmed our hearts when he finally settled into his first relationship. He was barely twenty-one when he 'tied the knot'.

Luke required more attention than the other three children, as his life seemed to carry the most drama. Luke always had a way of apologizing without saying it. The other kids had their 'dilemmas' that for sure! The difference is; they managed to get though their problems with less drama and intensity. 

The family of five does not feel complete now that Luke is gone. It took an entire year for this to truly soak into each family members soul.  It is something we will never get use to, but will get through. Each of us has faith in Christ and HIS love has compelled us to go on. Our experience(s) will benefit others, as we trudge this road to a 'happy destiny' which is eternal life with Jesus. We will see Luke again, as he loved the Lord (John 3:16).

As you continue to read my blogs, you will learn some 'truth finding facts' about suicide and the aftermath on the family. The grief process is unpredictable and intense, but you will updated.

Thank you so much for stepping out and reading about this less than desirable topic. Please come back and keep us in your prayers!

Raine.